Add in a legacy of harsh judgments and rejection in response to expressing needs is it any wonder I was gun shy? The fear of being judged rejected for even expressing needs left me in a fearful of expressing my needs.
To be fair I did not always expressed my needs clearly. It was probably more my hurt feelings spilling out. I am sure my over giving, pleasing others, nature got in the way of clarity here.
But this is something I have had to overcome in order to live my life fully. I had to reframe that having needs is not being “needy’. And in fact many of my needs – I can meet myself. However, there are times when I do have a need from another (or they of me).
Come to our upcoming Life’s Little Toolbox workshop on 11 May in Wellington where I will share with you a compassion communication tool that helps us hear and express needs better. Check it outHERE.